First of all, the Buffalo and I celebrated our 2nd Anniversary about a month ago! We went back to the cottage where we stayed for our honeymoon, and it was very nice to rekindle a lot of the first memories of our marriage. We ate a lot of the same foods as our honeymoon: eggs, hashbrown, and bacon for breakfast; frozen pizza and ramen noodles for dinner. Time did not allow us to put together another 1500pc puzzle this time, so we decided to visit some of the state parks around the area and was able to enjoy the leftover fall colors while we were there. Two sad notes for us: 1) Our favorite Italian restaurant was closed this time around; 2) The owner of the cottage is trying to sell it. I secretly hope that he won't ever get to sell it, because we like the place so much, and it's a great deal if we have a bigger family with us.
I have to admit - I have been thinking/planning about the arrival of the baby way too much lately. I caught myself many days reading and planning about all the baby gadgets that we might not even need, and the poor Buffalo had to come home from a long hard day to me renting about all this stuff. Nevertheless, God is keeping me in check with my heart and motives (so is my Buffalo), and I hope to continue operating this house along with the arrival of the baby using "lean engineering." We have been so blessed to receive many hand-me-downs from friends and families, and I look forward to collect some more this weekend at our Thanksgiving gathering. My parents also brought many baby items when they came to visit last month. We are so thankful for the ways that God has blessed us in this process.
As I was typing this entry, I continue to realize how mentally consuming the baby already is to me. Is it necessary or prudent? Some people said that it's my nesting mode or that it is necessary because the baby will be a life changing factor to our lives. God continue to remind me that the baby is ultimately not "mine", and I am only a manager/keeper of this new little life. First of all, I do not have control over the baby's life or death. I could do nothing and God decides to take it away, or I could hurt myself badly but God continues to sustain it. How helpless we are but at the same time it's so freeing to know. I also continue to remind myself how important it is that I don't worship my child or let them become the purpose/meaning/focus of my life, but rather I should strive to keep Jesus Christ my focus. God could bless me through my children tremendously, but that should drive me to love the Giver more than the gifts.
My dear friend shared this video clip with me couple days ago: Death is not Dying. I was reminded of the importance of knowing these things: God, myself, the Gospel, and my purpose. As we face death, it's so clear what really matters at the end of our lives. If you have sometime, please watch this clip. It is long, but totally worth the time.
